how to deal with road rage and the one finger salute
Part of my job out here on the road is public relations. This means waving at people and giving the kids a blast on the ol air horn when they give me that universal sign you know pumping the elbow and arm for all its worth in a frantic parody of a driver pulling the air horn. This means being careful of others around me using my turn signal when turning or changing lanes and trying not to cut people off if at all posible. Sometimes changing lanes can be quite difficult when in traffic. One of my Pet peeves with four wheelers is when I hit my turn signal to make a lane change usually to pass. and the guy half a mile back decides that he just has to make it past me first. Invariably he hits the accelerator and suddenly is at the rear of my trailer where he proceeds to slow back down to highway speed “right next to me” and act like nothing happened. Usually I can tell when a car is going for it and refrain from moving over until said driver has saved western civilization and made his amazing dash around “the annoying trucker”. Sometimes I am the annoying trucker and end up cutting off the poor innocent four wheeler. Quite often the same four wheeler gives me the finger, a fist, and or a few choice words.
I have in the past been more than happy to give back the finger but I recently found a much more fun and interesting way to deal with road rage and the one finger salute. All you have to do in order to diffuse the situation, is wave like they are your best friends and smile like an idiot. I will never forget the first time I did this I had just pulled out of the Pilot in Milltown Montana when around the bend comes joe yuppy in a four runner. Seeing that Yours truly is starting to make a lane change into his lane of travel hits the accelerator and starts flashing his headlights like somehow this will stop me from making the turn that I have already committed too. I know the drill once we hit the interstate Joe Yuppy four runner doesn’t disappoint. He whips around me his horn blaring his wife has also donned war gear and the window is down as the four runner accelerates and then slows down next to me for just a moment I fantasize about dumping my Wee Jug over the garishly painted grimacing female warrior screaming at me and showing me a stubby middle finger with one long garishly painted claw on it. Instead I shut down all fight systems and dig deep into my Clown Nature. I start waving franticly and paste my best Bozo Smile onto my face. I am amazed my shock and awe campaign has worked.
The look on the grimacing female warriors face is priceless. She looks away from me and at the middle Claw finger like some evil elf has just come out of nowhere and planted it on her hand. She looks over at her husband he is leaned over her fist clenched angry snarl frozen on his lips. I continue to bobble my head up and down and smile like a blooming idiot…waving my hand and cursing under my breath. Suddenly The four wheeler slows down and goes behind me. I am thinking to myself what is going to happen? why are they slowing down and following me? Are they coming up with another plan of attack? Calling my company? getting my license plate number to call 911 and report a trucker that is losing his marbles on the interstate? Then the four wheeler pulls out again. this time it pulls up slower I look over Both of my adversaries have removed thier warpaint. They are both smiling sheepishly and waving. I give them the thumbs up and suddenly warm fuzzies are everywhere. I am glad we are in separate vehicles because I am afraid we would all hug each other and start singing Coom by Yaaah. then they are gone. I mop my brow and pop an aspirin for good measure. Ahhh, all is well. Life out here on the road is truly an adventure…..B
I have in the past been more than happy to give back the finger but I recently found a much more fun and interesting way to deal with road rage and the one finger salute. All you have to do in order to diffuse the situation, is wave like they are your best friends and smile like an idiot. I will never forget the first time I did this I had just pulled out of the Pilot in Milltown Montana when around the bend comes joe yuppy in a four runner. Seeing that Yours truly is starting to make a lane change into his lane of travel hits the accelerator and starts flashing his headlights like somehow this will stop me from making the turn that I have already committed too. I know the drill once we hit the interstate Joe Yuppy four runner doesn’t disappoint. He whips around me his horn blaring his wife has also donned war gear and the window is down as the four runner accelerates and then slows down next to me for just a moment I fantasize about dumping my Wee Jug over the garishly painted grimacing female warrior screaming at me and showing me a stubby middle finger with one long garishly painted claw on it. Instead I shut down all fight systems and dig deep into my Clown Nature. I start waving franticly and paste my best Bozo Smile onto my face. I am amazed my shock and awe campaign has worked.
The look on the grimacing female warriors face is priceless. She looks away from me and at the middle Claw finger like some evil elf has just come out of nowhere and planted it on her hand. She looks over at her husband he is leaned over her fist clenched angry snarl frozen on his lips. I continue to bobble my head up and down and smile like a blooming idiot…waving my hand and cursing under my breath. Suddenly The four wheeler slows down and goes behind me. I am thinking to myself what is going to happen? why are they slowing down and following me? Are they coming up with another plan of attack? Calling my company? getting my license plate number to call 911 and report a trucker that is losing his marbles on the interstate? Then the four wheeler pulls out again. this time it pulls up slower I look over Both of my adversaries have removed thier warpaint. They are both smiling sheepishly and waving. I give them the thumbs up and suddenly warm fuzzies are everywhere. I am glad we are in separate vehicles because I am afraid we would all hug each other and start singing Coom by Yaaah. then they are gone. I mop my brow and pop an aspirin for good measure. Ahhh, all is well. Life out here on the road is truly an adventure…..B
Driver stay awake try a scalding cup of joe
Heading down south from Kent it has been a long day I decide to pull in to GeeCees Truck Stop for a cup of coffee. I add 3 doughnuts 2 glazed and a fritter to the mix and head out the door. I'm careful going over the potholes in the parking lot so as not to spill my coffee, and as I get up to speed on the interstate I reach for a doughnut letting the sugary goodness melt onto my tongue filling me with those wonderful empty carbs that are guaranteed to get me a brief 10 mile high followed by a crash. The coffee should be kicking in about that time though, helping me stay awake just long enough to get me to Portland and Jubitz truck stop where I will be sleeping tonight. I reach for the cup bringing it close and wham I somehow manage to fumble the cup..I overeact seizing defeat from the jaws of victory proceeding to dump 16 ounces of scalding joe onto my stomach, crotch, and legs, I scream like a little girl and then remember that Grandma says God is always watching, start to cuss like a sailor so he wont think im a total wuss …..this is followed by silence as I begin to relish the exquisite pain. The smell of Fresh Coffee fills the air with the ever so faint aroma of frying bacon. However, there is always a silver lining to every scalding cup of joe….For the first time in the last 16 hours I can truly say I am awake……B
My Rant about the Fourteen Hour Rule
Borrowed from Highwayman online...11/4/2013
Years ago I remember the excitement of hitting the open road. Trucking to me was the closest thing I’d been able to find to flying. We worked hard but also had freedom to control our lives out on the road. We (long haul truckers) had a life that may not have been conventional but it wasn't that bad. Then around 2004 some folks got together and decided it would be safer to up the sleeper birth time from eight hours to ten hours.
“That’s not such a bad idea. More sleep has to be safer. Right?"
Well yeah, O.k. except along with the Ten Hour Rule they added the Fourteen Hour Rule. The Fourteen Hour Rule or as I will call it the "FHR" is a stop watch that starts when you begin your day, and doesn't stop ticking for fourteen hours, when the FHR says your done driving, that's it, your done driving. I'm not sure why they invented the FHR but I'm guessing it's designed to make drivers keep their doors closed and the wheels turning. Hey, isn't keeping my wheels turning my job, not the federal governments job to enforce?
I'm going to try to give you an example of my life on the road with the FHR since my company put the new E-logs into my truck so that non drivers out there can have some perspective into what it can be like running under current regulations.
One Day in my Life Trucking:
So I go to bed at ten p.m. and sleep until Two A.m. I get up have a drink of water and go back to bed but, can't sleep. Some drivers (without E-logs in the truck) might just choose to "bend" their log book and try to get some driving done, but since I have an electronic log book in my truck and am such a conscientious follower of weird arbitrary rules designed by Lord knows who, (definitely not a trucker), I just lay there until eight a.m. Then I'm allowed to drive. Woo Hoo!!!! Time for work. Now the FTH is started. You remember the fourteen hour stop watch I told you about? I drive (tired) for two hours, then load for two hours, because car haulers load our own trucks this is on duty time, then drive one more hour, decide I'm too tired and pull into a rest area around one p.m. to catch a nap. Remember, the FTH keeps running even when you're sleeping once your workday has begun. So, I sleep for what seems like twenty minutes and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to roll. Only, holy crud it's five fourty five p.m. But at least I'm not tired, in fact for the first time all day i'm ready to rock and roll!!! I'm also hungry. So, I stop and grab a bite at the flying J. Now it's six fourty five p.m. and I'm rolling. Three hours and fifteen minutes later it's ten p.m., still wide awake and ready to be productive but the FTH says I'm done for the day. I pull into Ernies Truck Stop walk over to Shari's and spend the next four hours when I should be sleeping, wide awake bullshiting with anybody that will talk to me and the vicious cycle (with many different variations) is repeated.
My point is that I'm a human not a robot. I work in a constantly changing environment and in order to be safe and just as important sane, need the freedom to schedule my own life out here on the road. In my opinion, The Fourteen Hour Rule is arbitrary unneeded and can and does hinder me from making safe choices. If I have to sleep ten hours in 24 fine, but let me choose when and give me the right to break up that ten hours if needed without punishing me with the FHR. The fourteen hour stop watch needs to go away.
Am I wrong? Feel free to shoot me an E-mail.
Thanks Burnie
Years ago I remember the excitement of hitting the open road. Trucking to me was the closest thing I’d been able to find to flying. We worked hard but also had freedom to control our lives out on the road. We (long haul truckers) had a life that may not have been conventional but it wasn't that bad. Then around 2004 some folks got together and decided it would be safer to up the sleeper birth time from eight hours to ten hours.
“That’s not such a bad idea. More sleep has to be safer. Right?"
Well yeah, O.k. except along with the Ten Hour Rule they added the Fourteen Hour Rule. The Fourteen Hour Rule or as I will call it the "FHR" is a stop watch that starts when you begin your day, and doesn't stop ticking for fourteen hours, when the FHR says your done driving, that's it, your done driving. I'm not sure why they invented the FHR but I'm guessing it's designed to make drivers keep their doors closed and the wheels turning. Hey, isn't keeping my wheels turning my job, not the federal governments job to enforce?
I'm going to try to give you an example of my life on the road with the FHR since my company put the new E-logs into my truck so that non drivers out there can have some perspective into what it can be like running under current regulations.
One Day in my Life Trucking:
So I go to bed at ten p.m. and sleep until Two A.m. I get up have a drink of water and go back to bed but, can't sleep. Some drivers (without E-logs in the truck) might just choose to "bend" their log book and try to get some driving done, but since I have an electronic log book in my truck and am such a conscientious follower of weird arbitrary rules designed by Lord knows who, (definitely not a trucker), I just lay there until eight a.m. Then I'm allowed to drive. Woo Hoo!!!! Time for work. Now the FTH is started. You remember the fourteen hour stop watch I told you about? I drive (tired) for two hours, then load for two hours, because car haulers load our own trucks this is on duty time, then drive one more hour, decide I'm too tired and pull into a rest area around one p.m. to catch a nap. Remember, the FTH keeps running even when you're sleeping once your workday has begun. So, I sleep for what seems like twenty minutes and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to roll. Only, holy crud it's five fourty five p.m. But at least I'm not tired, in fact for the first time all day i'm ready to rock and roll!!! I'm also hungry. So, I stop and grab a bite at the flying J. Now it's six fourty five p.m. and I'm rolling. Three hours and fifteen minutes later it's ten p.m., still wide awake and ready to be productive but the FTH says I'm done for the day. I pull into Ernies Truck Stop walk over to Shari's and spend the next four hours when I should be sleeping, wide awake bullshiting with anybody that will talk to me and the vicious cycle (with many different variations) is repeated.
My point is that I'm a human not a robot. I work in a constantly changing environment and in order to be safe and just as important sane, need the freedom to schedule my own life out here on the road. In my opinion, The Fourteen Hour Rule is arbitrary unneeded and can and does hinder me from making safe choices. If I have to sleep ten hours in 24 fine, but let me choose when and give me the right to break up that ten hours if needed without punishing me with the FHR. The fourteen hour stop watch needs to go away.
Am I wrong? Feel free to shoot me an E-mail.
Thanks Burnie
A Work of Fiction
A work of fiction, Spud seeks to answer some of lifes deepest questions. Chapters 1-5
A Beautiful and Mysterious Guru May Have Saved My Life
So, I've been having pains that run from my left side down into my stomach up into my chest, and even up my left arm. What to do?
I chose not to pay for health insurance due to the high monthly cost and insane deductible's and now I'm having pain. If I go to the emergency room they'll put me through a battery of tests with thousands of dollars of medical bills. With the paltry 30k I earn as an independent contractor I'll be ruined, destined to medical bankruptcy and maybe homelessness.
It was time to find my inner Guru. I head into the living room and sit, let my eyes close, quiet my mind.... Don't have long to wait.
"Chocolate,..." the soft seductive voice whispers...My inner medical Guru happens to be a beautiful woman,
I stand, deliberate, with purpose, and head to the kitchen. Open the cupboard, grab the yellow and brown cocoa container purchased the week before at Safeway. "No You fool," comes the soft Gandalfian voice, "That chocolate has sugar in it, and You're diabetic" I remember from my childhood that dark brown can of Hershey's unsweetened my mom used to keep. I head to Safeway, find the baking section, grab an eight oz. can of natural cocoa powder( unsweetened).
Back at the house, fire up the Keurig and fill my cup with coffee...My Guru coughs, I expect her to say something regarding the coffee, but she keeps her cool, I continue, take two heaping tablespoons of the sugar free cocoa, stir it into the cup, Then add two tablespoons of stevia powder to the elixir...Take a sip, find it chocolaty good! Head back to my office and start back to work. An hour later, stretch, and take a mental scan, tell myself the pain is easing..
I head to the kitchen for another cup. This time decide to make Mexican hot chocolate. I use the same Keurig cup as before and add cinnamon and Carolina Reaper chili powder...Again my Guru's silent. I continue this routine the rest of the day.
That night I sleep fitfully, and dream of chickens laying golden eggs..., I awake to a loud shout. look over to where my wife has the pillow over her head. She throws the pillow across the room and heads to the bathroom, Returns, lighting a match, cupping it in her hands and waving it over the bed, then another, "Dude, what hell? I'm buying You Beano"... When I awake the next day, wife's gone and so is the pain...
Two days now taking my chocolate elixir. The pain hasn't returned. Was it a three day gas bubble? or is it the chocolate making my heart and veins relax, and platelets stop clumping? All I know is I'm still here...And my Guru isn't talking.
Stay tuned...
I chose not to pay for health insurance due to the high monthly cost and insane deductible's and now I'm having pain. If I go to the emergency room they'll put me through a battery of tests with thousands of dollars of medical bills. With the paltry 30k I earn as an independent contractor I'll be ruined, destined to medical bankruptcy and maybe homelessness.
It was time to find my inner Guru. I head into the living room and sit, let my eyes close, quiet my mind.... Don't have long to wait.
"Chocolate,..." the soft seductive voice whispers...My inner medical Guru happens to be a beautiful woman,
I stand, deliberate, with purpose, and head to the kitchen. Open the cupboard, grab the yellow and brown cocoa container purchased the week before at Safeway. "No You fool," comes the soft Gandalfian voice, "That chocolate has sugar in it, and You're diabetic" I remember from my childhood that dark brown can of Hershey's unsweetened my mom used to keep. I head to Safeway, find the baking section, grab an eight oz. can of natural cocoa powder( unsweetened).
Back at the house, fire up the Keurig and fill my cup with coffee...My Guru coughs, I expect her to say something regarding the coffee, but she keeps her cool, I continue, take two heaping tablespoons of the sugar free cocoa, stir it into the cup, Then add two tablespoons of stevia powder to the elixir...Take a sip, find it chocolaty good! Head back to my office and start back to work. An hour later, stretch, and take a mental scan, tell myself the pain is easing..
I head to the kitchen for another cup. This time decide to make Mexican hot chocolate. I use the same Keurig cup as before and add cinnamon and Carolina Reaper chili powder...Again my Guru's silent. I continue this routine the rest of the day.
That night I sleep fitfully, and dream of chickens laying golden eggs..., I awake to a loud shout. look over to where my wife has the pillow over her head. She throws the pillow across the room and heads to the bathroom, Returns, lighting a match, cupping it in her hands and waving it over the bed, then another, "Dude, what hell? I'm buying You Beano"... When I awake the next day, wife's gone and so is the pain...
Two days now taking my chocolate elixir. The pain hasn't returned. Was it a three day gas bubble? or is it the chocolate making my heart and veins relax, and platelets stop clumping? All I know is I'm still here...And my Guru isn't talking.
Stay tuned...