So, I've been having pains that run from my left side down into my stomach up into my chest, and even up my left arm. What to do?
I chose not to pay for health insurance due to the high monthly cost and insane deductible's and now I'm having pain. If I go to the emergency room they'll put me through a battery of tests with thousands of dollars of medical bills. With the paltry 30k I earn as an independent contractor I'll be ruined, destined to medical bankruptcy and maybe homelessness.
It was time to find my inner Guru. I head into the living room and sit, let my eyes close, quiet my mind.... Don't have long to wait.
"Chocolate,..." the soft seductive voice whispers...My inner medical Guru happens to be a beautiful woman,
I stand, deliberate, with purpose, and head to the kitchen. Open the cupboard, grab the yellow and brown cocoa container purchased the week before at Safeway. "No You fool," comes the soft Gandalfian voice, "That chocolate has sugar in it, and You're diabetic" I remember from my childhood that dark brown can of Hershey's unsweetened my mom used to keep. I head to Safeway, find the baking section, grab an eight oz. can of natural cocoa powder( unsweetened).
Back at the house, fire up the Keurig and fill my cup with coffee...My Guru coughs, I expect her to say something regarding the coffee, but she keeps her cool, I continue, take two heaping tablespoons of the sugar free cocoa, stir it into the cup, Then add two tablespoons of stevia powder to the elixir...Take a sip, find it chocolaty good! Head back to my office and start back to work. An hour later, stretch, and take a mental scan, tell myself the pain is easing..
I head to the kitchen for another cup. This time decide to make Mexican hot chocolate. I use the same Keurig cup as before and add cinnamon and Carolina Reaper chili powder...Again my Guru's silent. I continue this routine the rest of the day.
That night I sleep fitfully, and dream of chickens laying golden eggs..., I awake to a loud shout. look over to where my wife has the pillow over her head. In a defiant rage, She throws the pillow across the room, heads to the bathroom, Returns, lighting a match, cupping it in her hands then waves it over the bed, then another, "Dude, what hell? I'm buying You Beano"... When I awake the next day, wife's gone and so is the pain...
Two days now taking my chocolate elixir. The pain hasn't returned. Was it a three day gas bubble? or is it the chocolate making my heart and veins relax, and platelets stop clumping? All I know is I'm still here...And my Guru isn't talking.
Been trucking since 96. My main interest is having a good healthy life.